Current Realities

So if you saw my last post of what i ate last week, you'll see i started making more exception with the culmination of sunday eating entirely zero local food. What's up with that right? Well I have been feeling the project coming to a close and I've felt like I've gleaned what I need to from this experiment and feel anxious to not be bound my these rules. I look forward to when eating local food is a daily decision rather than a constraints. i am making the decision for the constraint but it doesn't feel like real life, it feels like a project. and so i started being bad here and there and finally yesterday I really indulged. After breakfast I felt like shit (physically felt terrible) pizza was damn good though. Even though I was indulging, the whole time i was eating i felt really conscious of that fact that the bacon and eggs were most definitely coming from factory farmed animals - pigs in close confinement, chickens in cages. I usually have no problem telling people about my project and pushing acceptable social boundaries, but i just felt like going with it. So yeah a lot of the decision was based on wanting to participate in social situations. Social situation have been the number one thing I've felt alienated from during this project. Other people who i have read about that have done this sort of experiment (Barbara Kingsolver, No Impact Man) all have done it with their family. I feel like this would be a lot easier, since the people you eat with on a regular basis are doing the project too, versus me who I'm on my own with two roommates and all my friends not doing it. I feel like as a household decision it would be a lot easier, I'm constantly surrounded my food I can't eat and people eating it. I've learned to live with it, and meditate to zen place :-) its also funny though that people are constantly apologizing to me for eating in front of me, but its like what is that apology really doing? relieving you from feeling guilty, not really thinking about why I am choosing to make the statement of not the food you are. Ever think about why I'm not eating that cheeseburger in your hand? Its been really interesting how such a simple act on me not eating something affect the people around me. All these social protocols attached to food is sort of strange when you become aware of them.....

Anyway. I failed in a big (interesting?) way yesterday in terms of food, but I'm getting back in it today and going to finish out strong for the rest of the project. I thought i have one week left, as i was counting weeks (8 weeks = 2 months = 60 days) but when I counted out the days, April 1st will be day 60 so i have 10 days left (after today). hurray! People have been asking me what my first meal is going to be. It was going to be pizza, but since i've had pizza I think it's going to be a darwin's sandwich with turkey, hummus, apple, avocado, cheese, carrots, sprout, tomatoes, mayo and mustard, with and orange and a LARGE soy latte. yes please. Despite the cheating, there isn' really a lot of food i miss. Citrus and coffee are really the only big ones. I've been able to make a lot of things I want. And the things I can't, I don't really want to be putting so many chemical and high fructose corn syrup in my body.

and this week i gained .5 pounds to bring me to -.5 from my starting weight. honestly not bad if you look at everything I ate (i guess you don't get to see the quantities, but usually when i say ice cream, i mean the whole pint and when i say chocolate i mean one the big fancy chocolate bars) I bet i would lose a lot of weight if i didn't drink too. local beer has a lot of calories ha.